Oh, Trav. I'm missing you. Before last month, I hadn't watched this video since your funeral. Minutes before you took your last breath, your parents and I listened to it play on my phone. I've watched this video now numerous times, too many to count, for the past several weeks.
Ugh, do I miss being married to you. You edify me. You remind me that I'm enough. You make me laugh. You encourage me. And I can't bring myself to use the past tense of those verbs because when I stop wallerin' in self-pity and I think of what you would do or things you've said to me, those past lessons and moments of tough love are relived. You edify, remind, encourage, and make me laugh all over again. In real time. While I may not have you anymore, I feel badly for every other woman who has never had their husband speak about them or think about them the way you spoke and thought about me. I know most people probably aren't overcome with insane jealously when they look at me or my situation, but they should be.
And our kids?! Our kids will know with certainty that you loved them and you were proud of them and fought to stay here with them. There are kids who get their daddies everyday who will never know that. It sounded like you channeled a bit of Mufasa in the video. I'm sure that's what you were going for. Although your voice may not be as buttery as James Earl Jones', your impact as a daddy and as a husband, while short lived, is lasting. I'm so thankful for you. The lessons you taught. The lessons you will teach our kids. The lessons I'm still learning from you. Thank you, Travertine. I miss you. I love you. "I'll always be your girl, Travis."
Ugh, do I miss being married to you. You edify me. You remind me that I'm enough. You make me laugh. You encourage me. And I can't bring myself to use the past tense of those verbs because when I stop wallerin' in self-pity and I think of what you would do or things you've said to me, those past lessons and moments of tough love are relived. You edify, remind, encourage, and make me laugh all over again. In real time. While I may not have you anymore, I feel badly for every other woman who has never had their husband speak about them or think about them the way you spoke and thought about me. I know most people probably aren't overcome with insane jealously when they look at me or my situation, but they should be.
And our kids?! Our kids will know with certainty that you loved them and you were proud of them and fought to stay here with them. There are kids who get their daddies everyday who will never know that. It sounded like you channeled a bit of Mufasa in the video. I'm sure that's what you were going for. Although your voice may not be as buttery as James Earl Jones', your impact as a daddy and as a husband, while short lived, is lasting. I'm so thankful for you. The lessons you taught. The lessons you will teach our kids. The lessons I'm still learning from you. Thank you, Travertine. I miss you. I love you. "I'll always be your girl, Travis."
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